Filed under: Toys | Tagged: at home dad, dad, daddy, family, father, girl, kids, parent, Parenting, SAHD, stay-at-home dad, toys | Leave a Comment »
The Incident
Posted on November 28, 2011 by goo goo dadda
It’s been awhile since I posted here. More on that in another post entitled ‘Summer Happened’. It’s been a nice hiatus but now it’s good to be back writing…
It happened on a Monday. During P.E.
The “Incident”.
Up to now, in her brief 6 years on this planet, Maddie has cruised through life incident-free. Many minor “accidents” – a bruised elbow here, a bumped head there, but no real scary “oh my god” moments. We have been lucky.
And yes, many “mis-communications” – mostly with her parents. Frustrating times, these. Her little face will turn red and her feet will stomp all the way to her room, a loud slam as her door shakes in its frame.
Moments of sadness as well, tears welling up in her big, beautiful, brown eyes.
But none of this quite prepared me for what was about to happen.
Upon entering 1st grade Maddie quickly made a friend. They became best friends. They did everything together. Maddie followed her around like a puppy. Since she is one of the youngest in her class, she tends to defer to her older peers. She let her best friend take the driver’s seat in their adventures. Maddie was happy just to tag along. Soon, a playdate was set up. We met her parents and we all clicked. Everything was progressing swimmingly.
And then it happened.
The “Incident”.
Maddie and her friend were in line participating in a P.E. exercise. Maddie’s friend turned and told her that she smelled and that she should go to the back of the line. Maddie complied, and crumpled inside.
That night during bath time Maddie mentioned what had happened to me. It had taken her by surprise. I could tell she wasn’t sure what to feel. And I wasn’t sure what to feel, either.
Initially, I didn’t realize what a huge, traumatic event in Maddie’s life this really was. I thought, ‘Hmmm, P.E., they don’t really sweat much in 1st grade, do they? How could she smell? Something she ate?’ I failed to grasp the emotional impact.
Then, later that week, during our parent-teacher conference, it came up again. Maddie’s teacher had noticed a change in their relationship and she was sad. She thought it was wonderful that Maddie had confided in me and felt it was a testament to the strength of our bond, our father-daughter connection. I felt two very powerful emotions:
1. PRIDE – I was so elated that Maddie had shared her experience with me. There I was, on the bow of the Titanic, tears in my eyes, screaming, “I”M ON TOP OF THE WORLD!” This was the moment I had been waiting for, the moment that I had worked for these past 6 years, the whole reason I had become a stay-at-home dad in the first place.
2. ANGER – After the shock subsided, I was mad. I wanted to grab Maddie’s little “friend” by the shoulders and shake her: “What the hell is wrong with you, you…bully??!! Do you see what you did to my daughter?!!”
It became an awkward moment for me, every day before and after school, having to face the mother of the “bully”. She is the nicest mom in the world, a wonderful parent, and yet a small part of me was blaming her for what happened to Maddie.
We never found out what exactly happened. We put our collective parenting minds together and tossed around some theories. Maddie’s friend has an older sister…maybe she was transferring some anger or frustration…we don’t know.
Maddie is doing fine now and has made a new friend. All has been forgiven.
We eagerly await with trepidation the next “Incident”.
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Life goes on, yeah
La La, how the life goes on…
Filed under: Engaged, Family, First Grade, Parenting, School | Tagged: at home dad, dad, daddy, daughter, Evolution, friendship, girl, kids, parent, Parenting, SAHD, school, stay-at-home dad | 2 Comments »
Moving On Up
Posted on June 15, 2011 by goo goo dadda
Maddie is graduating Kindergarten today! Yay!
Or, should I say, she will be ‘advancing’ to the next grade level.
She will be ascending the great academic ladder, trading in her letter K for a number 1, and moving from a half day to a full day. It is a proud and happy moment for us all, ripe with possibility.
In the course of one short school year she has become an honest-to-god, thinking, breathing, independent little person. Her brain is a buzz with new information, skills and knowledge. She has made new friends and has adjusted beautifully to her new school. Truly, it is all so very inspiring!
I know people say this all the time, but it really does seem like it was only yesterday when we initially parted with our girl, leaving her in the care of others, oh so temporarily. And, just as we were concerned parents back then during those timid first days of preschool, so were we nervous and wide-eyed during her first days of Kindergarten. There I am, driving her to school, then walking her up to the classroom door, checking her backpack, then placing her in line along with all the other giggling and excited children. Stepping back, I join the other line of giggling, excited parents.
And so will we always be there for her, her mother and I, maybe not literally standing outside her classroom door, but there in spirit, at every transition in her life and all the moments in between, as she dances her way through life.
I just hope we can keep up.
Filed under: Family, Graduation, Kindergarten, Parenting, School | Tagged: dad, daddy, family, father, girl, parent, Parenting, school | Leave a Comment »
Wave At The Bus
Posted on June 7, 2011 by goo goo dadda
This is GREAT!!
Filed under: Parenting | Tagged: at home dad, bus, dad, daddy, father, SAHD, stay-at-home dad | Leave a Comment »
The Secret Society of Parents: Lost
Posted on May 21, 2011 by goo goo dadda
Sometimes I like to think of parenting as an episode of Lost, which is how I feel most of the time:
Think of a mysterious island inhabited entirely by a tribe of parents. None of them are really sure how they got there. They do their best to survive using what little skills they have. Some will adapt quickly, others more slowly. They will all learn new methods of cooking, cleaning, shopping, packing, organizing, soothing, inspiring, empathizing. They will learn how to eat quickly, with either hand, while washing the dishes and holding a baby. They will grow stronger, both physically and mentally.
As time passes and hope for rescue grows dim, a society begins to form. A SECRET society, operating invisibly to the rest of the world, in which the wisdom of the ancients is passed on from elder to child through story and song. Small clans break off from the main body, held together by the shared interests of their children.
Some, desperate for information, will leave the safety of the tribe to search the island for a handbook on parenting, a magical text that is said to contain all the knowledge of generations past. They will scour the jungle for this fabled tome, eventually realizing that it does not exist. Along the way, however, they will gather weathered old books and magazines washed up along the shore, and will begin to piece together a rudimentary method of defining themselves.
A computer room is discovered in a small underground bomb shelter where access to the internet gleans more parenting information from the mainland. They soon become inundated with too much advertising and must sever their connection.
They soon realize that there is no easy way off this island, and that they must each walk their own path. Only by suffering first hand will they truly learn what it means to be A PARENT.
One day they will be rescued and will all be integrated back into the main body of civilization. But they will all realize that their experience on the island has changed them in ways they are still struggling to understand. They have evolved somehow. They will then spend the rest of their lives gathering information and watching for signs, preparing for the day when they can share their experience on the island with the rest of society. And the world will become a better place.
Roll credits.
Filed under: Evolution, Parenting, Television | Tagged: Evolution, Lost, parent, Parenting, Television | 6 Comments »
Reflections On Time: Part II
Posted on May 15, 2011 by goo goo dadda
I am amazed that anyone who calls themselves a PARENT has the time to read this blog right now. In fact, I can’t even believe I had a free moment to sit down and write it. And I am really astounded that any parent could publish a column, or a book, or do ANYTHING that requires time and planning and thinking. REFLECTION is such a luxury when most of us are just struggling to survive.
I feel incredibly lucky to be in a position where I CAN reflect and muse and ponder, and set down those thoughts in writing, and share it all online. My wife and I have worked hard to create a shared parenting environment to give each of us some space to explore our own interests and goals while fully supporting the other and our children. Her salary supports us. Anything I make is a bonus. We don’t pay for childcare. Without support from family and friends, financially, emotionally, I don’t know how we could do it.
My days as a Stay-At-Home Dad have been filled with so many powerful and transformative moments, I wish I could record them all and share them with friends and family, and someday pass them on to my daughters. We capture what we can through photos, videos, memoirs and the like (like this blog), and recount with knowing smiles the small, hilarious, and touching stories of our children’s mis-adventures, and maybe this is all enough for us to feel satisfied, content that someone else on this planet knows how special they really are, like we do. And yet there is so much more that is not shared, that is not talked or written about, so many moments that we have experienced as parents that have enriched us and made us who we are today. It is all there, I know, sitting in our parenting minds, perhaps never to see the light of day, and maybe that’s ok. What would the world do with all that pain and frustration and sorrow? Surely the world would explode from so much joy, pride, and contentment.
I wonder if these thoughts ever occurred to my parents,and their generation, and those that came before. Maybe they did, but then were they quickly extinguished? Who has time to philosophize when there’s a house to clean or a meal to prepare. Just keep moving and get through the day. No complaints. No excuses. It’s all just part of life. And at the end of the day, the last thing you want to think about is how to be a better parent.
Perhaps when I am older, when my children are older, I will have more time to breathe, and then I can reflect and look back on these days with an easy grin. But will I remember everything? I fear not. I do not trust my aging brain, and I feel that if I do not record it now in some manner, then perhaps it will slip away and be lost forever.
(This is the second part of a series. You can read the first part here.)
Filed under: Family, Parenting, Time | Tagged: at home dad, dad, daddy, family, father, kids, parent, Parenting, SAHD, stay-at-home dad, Time | 3 Comments »
Quotes I Made Up From Other Quotes
Posted on May 12, 2011 by goo goo dadda
“To want an heir is human; having a daughter is divine.”
based on “To err is human; to forgive, divine” by Alexander Pope
Filed under: Quotes | Tagged: at home dad, dad, daddy, daughter, family, father, kids, parent, Parenting, SAHD, stay-at-home dad | 2 Comments »
It’s The Little Things…
Posted on May 1, 2011 by goo goo dadda
~We do not remember days, we remember moments.~
*Cesare Pavese*
They tell you it’s the little things in life that can make all the difference – a nice cup of tea, a daughter’s smile, a comfy chair.
I’m enjoying all of these moments in my life more and more now. Or maybe I’m just more aware of them.
They are each, on their own, such small and delicate gifts, so ephemeral and elusive.
They are taken for granted, often forgotten, and so easily lost, yet in our busy world they are what keep most of us sane.
An ice cold lemonade, a foot massage, a sunset. They are what we cling to when all around is dark.
In times like these, during our Great Recession, and amidst horrible natural disasters, I find myself thinking more and more about the little things in life, and how truly important they really are.
Of course, a Royal Wedding now and again is always nice, too.
I am reminded of one of my favorite scenes from The Lord of the Rings:
Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.
Filed under: Family, Parenting, SAHD | Tagged: at home dad, dad, daddy, family, father, little things, parent, Parenting, primary caregiver, SAHD, stay-at-home dad | Leave a Comment »
It’s Official – Spring Is Here!
Posted on April 18, 2011 by goo goo dadda
Aaaaah, springtime! It’s finally here!
And how do I know this, you might ask? How do I really know?
Did a bluejay happily alight upon my shoulder, whistling a tune from Song of the South?
Or perhaps Maddie being home for Spring Break this week is enough reason to give one pause?
Maybe I can attribute it to the itchy feeling I have every time I see piles of stuff in the garage, waiting to be sorted.
All excellent clues to the fact that springtime is definitely upon us.
But no, what really gave it away, what really pronounced it and made it official, was when I brought the girls out into our backyard. Thus began a 2 hour frenzy of play, fueled by weeks upon weeks of being stuck indoors, where every outdoor toy we own was awoken from its’ hibernation. My oh My What a Wonderful Day!!
Filed under: Family, Parenting, Spring, Toys | Tagged: backyard, kids, toys | Leave a Comment »
Maddie & Juliet: The Movie
Posted on April 14, 2011 by goo goo dadda
I’ve been having way too much fun with the “movie trailer” feature in iMovie lately.
They make it SO easy! You can choose from an array of themes, plug in your own text and video clips, and voila! I made this one in under 20 minutes. Enjoy!
Filed under: Film, Parenting | Tagged: at home dad, dad, daddy, family, Juliet, kids, Maddie, movies, Parenting, SAHD, stay-at-home dad | 4 Comments »
